SECTION II. SECTION II. 
The greater number of American women have home and itsaffairs, wherewith to occupy themselves. Wifely and motherlyoccupation may be called the sole business of woman there. If shehas not that, she has nothing. The only alternative, as I havesaid, is making an occupation of either religion or dissipation;neither of which is fit to be so used: the one being a state ofmind; the other altogether a negation when not taken inalternation with business.
It must happen that where all women have only one seriousobject, many of them will be unfit for that object. In the UnitedStates, as elsewhere, there are women no more fit to be wives andmothers tban to be statesmen and generals; no more fit for anyresponsibility whatever, than for the maximum of responsibility.There is no need to describe such: they may be seen everywhere. Iallude to them only for the purpose of mentioning that many ofthis class shirk some of their labours and cares, by takingrefuge in boarding-houses. It is a circumstance very unfavourableto the character of some American women, that boarding-house lifehas been rendered compulsory by the scarcity of labour,--thedifficulty of obtaining domestic service. The more I saw ofboarding-house life, the worse I thought of it; though I saw nonebut the best. Indeed, the degrees of merit in such establishmentsweigh little in the consideration of the evil of their existenceat all. In the best it is something to be secure of respectablecompany, of a good table, a well-mannered and courteous hostess,and comfort in the private apartments: but the mischiefs of thesystem throw all these objects into the back-ground.
To begin with young children. There can be no sufficientcommand of proper food for them; nor any security that they willeat it naturally at the table where fifty persons may be sitting,a dozen obsequious blacks waiting, and an array of temptingdishes within sight. The child is in imminent danger of being tooshy and frightened to eat at all, or of becoming greedy to eattoo much. Next, it is melancholy to see girls of twelve years oldeither slinking down beside their parents, and blushing painfullyas often as any one of fifty strangers looks towards them; orboldly staring at all that is going on, and serving themselves,like little women of the world. After tea, it is a commonpractice to hand the young ladies to the piano, to play and singto a party, composed chiefly of gentlemen, and brought togetheron no principle of selection except mere respectability. Nextcomes the mischief to the young married ladies, the most numerousclass of women found in boarding-houses. The uncertainty aboutdomestic service is so great, and the economy of boarding-houselife so tempting to people who have not provided themselves withhouse and furniture, that it is not to be wondered at that manyyoung married people use the accommodation provided. But nosensible husband, who could beforehand become acquainted with theliabilities incurred, would willingly expose his domestic peaceto the fearful risk. I saw enough when I saw the elegantlydressed ladies repair to the windows of the common drawing-room,on their husbands' departure to the counting-house, afterbreakfast. There the ladies sit for hours, doing nothing butgossiping with one another, with any gentlemen of the house whomay happen to have no business, and with visitors. It is truethat the sober-minded among the ladies can and do withdraw totheir own apartments for the morning: but they complain that theycannot settle to regular employments as they could in a house oftheir own. Either they are not going to stay long; or they havenot room for their books, or they are broken in upon by theiracquaintances in the house. The common testimony is, that littlecan be done in boarding-houses: and if the more sober-minded findit so, the fate of the thoughtless, who have no real business todo, may be easily anticipated. They find a dear friend or twoamong the boarders, to whom they confide their husbands' secrets.A woman who would do this once would do it twice, or as often asshe changes her boarding-house, and finds a new dear friend ineach. I have been assured that there is no end to thedifficulties in which gentlemen have been involved, both as totheir commercial and domestic affairs, by the indiscretion oftheir thoughtless young wives, amidst the idleness and levitiesof boardinghouse life.--As for the gentlemen, they are much to bepitied. Public meals, a noisy house, confinement to one or twoprivate rooms, with the absence of all gratifications of theirown peculiar convenience and taste, are but a poor solace to theman of business, after the toils and cares of the day. When tothese are added the snares to which their wives are exposed, itmay be imagined that men of sense and refinement would ratherbear with any domestic inconvenience from the uncertainty and badquality of help, than give up housekeeping. They would contentthemselves, if need were, with a bread and cheese dinner, lighttheir own fire, and let their wives dust the furniture a fewtimes in the year, rather than give up privacy, with itssecurities. I rather think that the gentlemen generally think andfeel thus; and that when they break up housekeeping and go toboarding-houses, it is out of indulgence to the wishes of theirwives; who, if they were as wise as they should be, would wish itseldomer and less than they do.
The study of the economy of domestic service was a continualamusement to me. What I saw would fill a volume. Many familiesare, and have for years been, as well off for domestics as anyfamily in England; and I must say that among the loudestcomplainers there were many who, from fault of either judgment ortemper, deserved whatever difficulty they met with. This isremarkably the case with English ladies settled in America. Theycarry with them habits of command, and expectations of obedience;and when these are found utterly to fail, they grow afraid oftheir servants. Even when they have learned the theory thatdomestic service is a matter of contract, an exchange of servicefor recompense, the authority of the employer extending nofurther than to require the performance of the servicepromised,--when the ladies have learned to assent in words tothis, they are still apt to be annoyed at things which in no wayconcern them. If one domestic chooses to wait at table with nocap over her scanty chevelure, and in spectacles,--if anothergoes to church on Sunday morning, dressed exactly like hermistress, the lady is in no way answerable for the bad taste ofher domestics. But English residents often cannot learn toacquiesce in these things; nor in the servants doing their workin their own way; nor in their dividing their time as they pleasebetween their mistress's work and their own. The consequence is,that they soon find it impossible to get American help at all,and they are consigned to the tender mercies of the low Irish;and every one knows what kind of servants they commonly are. Somefew of them are the best domestics in America: those who know howto value a respectable home, a steady sufficient income, thehonour of being trusted, and the security of valuahle friends forlife: but too many of them are unsettled, reckless, slovenly;some dishonest, and some intemperate.
The most fortunate housekeepers I found to be those who actedthe most strenuously on principles of justice and kindness. Suchhousekeepers are careful, in the first place, that no part of themutual duty shall pass unexplained; no opening be left for futuredispute that can be avoided. The candidate is not only informedprecisely what the work is, and shown the accommodations of thehouse, but consulted with about cases where the convenience ofthe two parties may clash. For instance, the employer stipulatesto be informed some hours before, when her domestic intends to goout; and that such going out shall never take place when there iscompany. In return, she yields all she can to the wishes of herdomestic about recreation, receiving the visits of her family,&c. Where a complete mutual understanding is arrived at,there is the best chance of the terms of the contract beingfaithfully adhered to, and liberally construed, on both sides:and I have seen instances of the parties having lived together infriendship and contentment for five, seven, eleven, and fourteenyears.* Others, again, I have seen who, without fault of theirown, have changed their servants three times in a fortnight.Some, too, I have observed who will certainly never becomfortably settled, unless they can be taught the firstprinciples of democracy.
Many ladies, in the country especially, take little girls totrain; having them bound to a certain term of service. In such acase, the girl is taken at about eleven years old, and bound toremain till she is eighteen. Her mistress engages to clothe her;to give her Sunday-schooling, and a certaiu amount of weekdayschooling in the year; and to present her at the end of the term(except in case of bad behaviour) with fifty dollars, or a cow,or some equivalent. Under a good mistress, this is an excellentbargain for the girl; but mistresses complain that as soon as thegirls become really serviceable, by the time they are fourteen orfifteen, they begin to grow restless, having usually abundance ofkind friends to tell them what good wages they might get if theywere free.
In several abodes in which I resided for a longer or shortertime, the routine of the house was as easy and agreeable as anyEnglishman's: elsewhere, the accounts of domestic difficultieswere both edifying and amusing. At first, I heard but little ofsuch things; there being a prevalent idea in America that Englishladies concern themselves very little about household affairs.This injurious misapprehension the ladies of England owe, withmany others, to the fashionable novels which deluge the countryfrom New York to beyond the Mississippi. Though the Americansrepeat and believe that these books are false pictures ofmanners, they cannot be wholly upon their guard againstimpressions derived from them. Too many of them involuntarilyimage to themselves the ladies of England as like the duchessesand countesses of those low books: and can scarcely believe thatthe wives of merchants, manufacturers, and shopkeepers, and ofthe greater number of professional men, buy their own provision,keep household accounts, look to the making and mending, thebaking, making of preserves, &c., and sometimes cook, withtheir own hands, any dish of which their husbands may be fond.When it was found, from my revelations, that English and Americanladies have, after all, much the same sort of things to do, thereal state of household economy was laid open to me.
All American ladies should know how to clear-starch and iron:how to keep plate and glass: how to cook dainties: and, if theyunderstand the making of bread and soup likewise, so much thebetter. The gentlemen usually charge themselves with the businessof marketing; which is very fair. A lady, highly accomplished andvery literary, told me that she had lately been left entirelywithout help, in a country village where there was littlehope of being speedily able to procure any. She and her daughtermade the bread, for six weeks, and entirely kept the house, whichmight vie with any nobleman's for true luxury; perfectsufficiency and neatness. She mentioned one good result from thenecessity: that she should never again put up with bad bread. Shecould now testify that bread might always be good,notwithstanding changes of weather, and all the excuses commonlygiven. I heard an anecdote from this lady which struck me. Shewas in the habit of employing, when she wanted extra help, a poorwoman of colour, to do kitchen-work. The domestics had alwaysappeared on perfectly good terms with this woman till, one day,when there was to be an evening party, the upper domesticdeclined waiting on the company; giving as a reason that she wasoffended at being required to sit down to table with the colouredwoman. Her mistress gently rebuked her pride, saying "If youare above waiting on my company, my family are not. You will seemy daughter carry the tea-tray, and my niece the cake." Thegirl repented, and besought to be allowed to wait; but herassistance was declined; at which she cried heartily. The nextday, she was very humble, and her mistress reasoned with her,quite successfully. The lady made one concession in silence. Shehad the coloured woman come after dinner, instead of before.
A country lady travelled thirty miles to a town where shethought she might intercept sorme Irish, coming down from Canadainto the States, and supply herself with domestics from amongthem. She engaged to send them thirty miles to confession, twicea year, if they would live with her.--Another country lady toldme that her family suffered from want of water, because the manobjected to bring it. The maids fetched it; and even thechildren, in their little cans. The man was sturdy on the point,and she could not dismiss him for such a reason, he was such avaluable servant; though he could not drive, from having only oneeye, and always got drunk when his work was done. The same ladyhad her house pretty well kept, by dint of superintendingeverything herself: but, when she wanted her rooms papered, shethought she might leave that kind of work to the artist whoundertook it. When it was done, she was summoned to look at it,and called upon to admire the way in which the man had "madeevery crease show." He had spent his ingenuity in contrivingthat the pattern should not join in any two strips.
The mother of a young bride of my acquaintance flatteredherself that she had graced her daughter's new house, during thewedding journey, with two exemplary domestics. The day previousto the bride's return, before the women had seen either master ormistress, they gave notice that they were going away directly, inconsequence of the receipt of some family news which had changedtheir plans. They were prevailed upon to stay for a week, whenthey persisted in going, though no successors had been obtained,and their young mistress was to receive her company the next day.What made the matter desperate was that the bride knew nothing ofhousekeeping. She made them cook as much provision, to be eatencold, as would possibly keep; and when they had closed the doorbehind them, sat down and cried for a whole hour. How she got outof her troubles, I forget: but she was in excellent spirits whenshe told me the story.
Many anecdotes are current about the manners of the youngpeople who come down from the retired parts of the country todomestic service in Boston. A simple country girl obeyed herinstructions exactly about putting the dinner upon the table, andthen summoning the family. But they delayed a few minutes, fromsome cause; and when they entered the dining-room, found thedomestic seated and eating. She had helped herself from a fowl,thinking that "the folk were so long a-coming, the thingswould get cold." A young man from Vermont was hired by afamily who were in extreme want of a footman. He was a mostfriendly personage, as willing as he was free and easy; but heknew nothing of life out of a small farm-house. An evening or twoafter his arrival, there was a large party at the house. Hismistress strove to impress upon him that all he had to do attea-time was to follow, with the sugar and cream, the waiter whocarried the tea; to see that every one had cream and sugar; andto hold his tongue. He did his part with an earnest face,stepping industriously from guest to guest. When he had made thecircuit, and reached the door, a doubt struck him whether a groupin the furthest part of the room had had the benefit of hisattentions. He raised himself on his toes with, "I'llask;" and shouted over the heads of the company, "Isay, how are ye off for sweetenin' in that ere corner?"
These extreme cases sound ridiculously and uncomfortablyenough: but it must be remembered that they are extreme cases.For my own part, I had rather suffer any inconvenience fromhaving to work occasionally in chambers and kitchen, and fromhaving, little hospitable designs frustrated, than witness thesubservience in which the menial class is held in Europe. InEngland, servants have been so long accustomed to thissubservience; it is so completely the established custom for themistress to regulate their manners, their clothes, theirintercourse with their friends, and many other things which theyought to manage for themselves, that it has become difficult totreat them any better. Mistresses who abstain from suchregulation find that they are spoiling their servants; and headsof families who would make friends of their domestics find themlittle fitted to reciprocate the duty. In America it isotherwise: and may it ever be so! All but those who care fortheir selfish gratification more than for the welfare of thoseabout them will be glad to have intelligent and disinterestedfriends in the domestics whom they may be able to attach, thoughthere may be difficulty at first in retaining them; and someeccentricities of manner and dress may remain to be borne with.
One of the pleasures of travelling through a democraticcountry is the seeing no liveries. No such badge of menialservice is to be met with throughout the States, except in thehouses of the foreign ambassadors at Washington. Of how muchhigher a character American domestic service is than any whichwould endure to be distinguished by a badge, tbe followinginstance will show. I spent an evening at the house of thepresident of Harvard University. The party was waited on at teaby a domestic of the president's, who is also Major of the Horse.On cavalry days, when guests are invited to dine with theregiment, the major, in his regimentals, takes the head of thetable, and has the president on his right hand. He plays the hostas freely as if no other relation existed between them. Thetoasts being all transacted, he goes home, doffs his regimentals,and waits on the president'r guests at tea.
As for the occupations with which American ladies fill uptheir leisure; what has been already said will show that there isno great weight or diversity of occupation. Many are largelyengaged in charities, doing good or harm according to theenlightenment of mind which is carried to the work. In NewEngland, a vast deal of time is spent in attending preachings,and other religious meetings: and in paying visits, for religiouspurposes, to the poor and sorrowful. The same results follow fromthis practice that may be witnessed wherever it is much pursued.In as far as sympathy is kept up, and acquaintanceship betweendifferent classes in society is occasioned, the practice is good.In as far as it unsettles the minds of the visitors, encourages afalse craving for religious excitement, tempts to spiritualinterference on the one hand, and cant on the other, and humoursor oppresses those who need such offices least, while italienates those who want them most, the practice is bad. I amdisposed to think that much good is done, and much harm: andthat, whenever women have a greater charge of indispensablebusiness on their hands, so as to do good and reciprocatereligious sympathy by laying hold of opportunities, instead of bymaking occupation, more than the present good will be done,without any of the harm.
All American ladies are more or less literary: and some are soto excellent purpose: to the saving of their minds from vacuity.Readers are plentiful: thinkers are rare. Minds are of a verypassive character: and it follows that languages are muchcultivated. If ever a woman was pointed out to me asdistinguished for information, I might be sure beforehand thatshe was a linguist. I met with a great number of ladies who readLatin; some Greek; some Hebrew; some German. With the exceptionof the last, the learning did not seem to be of much use to them,except as a harmless exercise. I met with more intellectualactivity, more general power, among many ladies who gave littletime to books, than among those who are distinguished as beingliterary. I did not meet with a good artist among all the ladiesin the States. I never had the pleasure of seeing a good drawing,except in one instance; or, except in two, of hearing good music.The entire failure of all attempts to draw is still a mystery tome. The attempts are incessant; but the results are belowcriticism. Natural philosophy is not pursued to any extent bywomen. There is some pretension to mental and moral philosophy;but the less that is said on that head the better.
This is a sad account of things. It may tempt some to ask'what then are the American women?' They are better educated byProvidence than by men. The lot of humanity is theirs: they havelabour, probation, joy, and sorrow. They are good wives; and,under the teaching of nature, good mothers. They have, within therange of their activity, good sense, good temper, and goodmanners. Their beauty is very remarkable; and, I think, their witno less. Their charity is overflowing, if it were but moreenlightened: and it may be supposed that they could not existwithout religion. It appears to superabound; but it is notusually of a healthy character. It may seem harsh to say this:but is it not the fact that religion emanates from the nature,from the moral state of the individual? Is it not therefore truethat unless the nature be completely exercised, the moral stateharmonised, the religion cannot be healthy?
One consequence, mournful and injurious, of the 'chivalrous'taste and temper of a country with regard to its women is that itis difficult, where it is not impossible, for women to earn theirbread. Where it is a boast that women do not labour, theencouragement and rewards of labour are not provided. It is so inAmerica. In some parts, there are now so many women dependent ontheir own exertions for a maintenance, that the evil will giveway before the force of circumstances. In the meantime, the lotof poor women is sad. Before the opening of the factories, therewere but three resources; teaching, needle-work, andkeepingboarding-houses or hotels. Now, there are the mills; and womenare employed in printing-offices; as compositors, as well asfolders and stitchers.
I dare not trust myself to do more than touch on this topic.There wouldbe little use in dwelling upon it; for the mischieflies in the system by which women are depressed, so as to havethe greater number of objects of pursuit placed beyond theirreach, more than in any minor arrangements which might berectified by an exposure of particular evils. I would only ask ofphilanthropists of all countries to inquire of physicians what isthe state of health of sempstresses; and to judge thence whetherit is not inconsistent with common humanity that wornen shoulddepend for bread upon such employment. Let them inquire what isthe recompense of this kind of labour, and then wonder if theycan that the pleasures of the licentious are chiefly suppliedfrom that class. Let them reverence the strengh of such as keeptheir virtue, when the toil which they know is slowly and surelydestroying them will barely afford them bread, while the wages ofsin are luxury and idleness. During the present interval betweenthe feudal age and the coming time, when life and its occupationswill be freely thrown open to women as to men, the condition ofthe female working classes is such that if its sufferings werebut made known, emotions of horror and shame would tremblethrough the whole of society.
For women who shrink from the lot of the needle-woman,--almostequally dreadful, from the fashionable milliner down to thehumble stocking-darner, --for those who shrink through pride, orfear of sickness, poverty, or temptation, there is littleresource but pretension to teach. What office is there whichinvolves more responsibility, which requires more qualifications,and which ought, therefore, to be more honourable, than that ofteaching? What work is there for which a decided bent, not to saya genius, is more requisite? Yet are governesses furnished, inAmerica as elsewhere, from among those who teach because theywant bread; and who certainly would not teach for any otherreason. Teaching and training children is, to a few, a very few,a delightful employment, notwithstanding all its toils and cares.Except to these few it is irksome; and, when accompanied withpoverty and mortification, intolerable. Let philanthropistsinquire into the proportion of governesses among the inmates oflunatic asylums. The answer to this question will be found toinvolve a world of rebuke and instruction. What can be thecondition of the sex when such an occupation is overcrowded withcandidates, qualified and unqualified? What is to be hoped fromthe gencration of children confided to the cares of a class,conscientious perhaps beyond most, but reluctant, harassed, anddepressed?
The most accomplished governesses in the United States mayobtain 600 dollars a-year in the families of southern planters;provided they will promise to teach everything. In the north theyare paid less; and in neither case, is there a possibility ofmaking provision for sickness and old age. Ladies who fullydeserve the confidence of society may realise an independence ina few years by school-keeping in the north: but, on the whole,the scanty reward of female labour in America remains thereproach to the country which its philanthropists have for someyears proclaimed it to be. I hope they will persevere in theirproclamation, though special methods of charity will not avail tocure the evil. It lies deep; it lies in the subordination of thesex: and upon this the exposures and remonstrances ofphilanthropists may ultimately succeed in fixing the attention ofsociety; particularly of women. The progression or emancipationof any class usually, if not always, takes place through theefforts of individuals of that class: and so it must be here. Allwomen should inform themselves of the condition of their sex, andof their own position. It must necessarily follow that thenoblest of them will, sooner or later, put forth a moral powerwhich shall prostrate cant, and burst asunder the bonds, (silkento some, but cold iron to others,) of feudal prejudices andusages. In the meantime, is it to be understood that theprinciples of the Declaration of Independence bear no relation tohalf of the human race? If so, what is the ground of thelimitation? If not so, how is the restricted and dependent stateof women to be reconciled with the proclamation that "allare endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights;that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit ofhappiness?"
ENDNOTES:
* The wages of domestic service vary, of course, according tocircumstances. In the eastern cities, a good footman is paidabout twenty-five dollars per month: a cook, two dollars a-week;and a housemaid a dollar and a-half.
From Harriet Martineau, Society in America, VolumeIII, Part III, Chapter II, Section II - "Occupation."London: Saunders and Otley, 1837, pp. 131-151.
Forward to Society in America, VolumeIII, Part III, Chapter II, Section III - "Health."
Back to Society in America, VolumeIII, Part III, Chapter II, Section I, "Marriage."
Back to Society in America - Table ofContents
Back to the Dead Sociologists'Society Index